Wednesday, September 22, 2010

parallels & downward trends

i find that there is a direct correlation between my age and inability to quiet my mind.

i think i've always assumed that these were inverse lines; that one day they'd crash at an intersection at some point where i felt in control of my thought patterns enough to progress, but instead it's become more and more difficult to focus myself on my goals. do i still have goals? what are they?

sometimes i wonder if there's something inside of me that is so desperate to come out and become some sort of tangible Thing that it simply won't accept not being. no, i think i'm just grasping at explanations.

i think i use laziness as an excuse for fear. i think the fact that i know this and i am not alone does nothing to change that.