jeez louise, EVERYONE ON GCHAT (this is why i quit internets for so long by the way), i know what a blog is. actually, i had a livejournal or two back when i was brave and motivated and out of my fucking mind.
i think i just finally got over myself a couple of years ago. i don't delude myself into thinking that every single thought i have needs to be said/heard anymore. there are child soldiers and shit. even celebrities know that now. yep.
i had a really rough time after my car accident. i spent so much time trying to convince everyone else and myself that i was fine--no, that i was excellent. i was terrified and alone. i had nightmares for months and felt like i'd never meet someone who could relate to me on a genuine, honest level again. i changed in unspeakable ways at that point. wasn't all bad, though. i became more idealistic, to a fault, i suppose. i still have a lot of anxiety that never totally goes away.
i'm twenty-five now.
nearly twenty-six, a strange number that's followed me for the entirety of my existence.
it's a thing.
eh, who knows how words are formed? -m. scott, genius
i've felt for a long time that there's just so much to know that i'll never know, and at some point i just got mindshatteringly (haha!) overwhelmed. i'm just trying to get to whelmed.
on another note, maybe i'll go to grad school after all. i've already got uzbekistan's gdp in loans from when dad got sick and i left american, so why the hell not? i still like learning. you guys can grumble about grad assignments all you want, but i'm incredibly jealous and it's an ugly quality.
quite unbecoming of me. remind me when i too get all grouchy and whatnot.
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